Perspective

Writing down my thoughts to get myself in order.

I went with one of my friends to his brother's house in the city yesterday. Four of us, all up, 'round there. Had Mcdonalds for lunch, pizza for dinner, played Smash Brothers and weird card games and chatted and laughed and stuff. Best time I've had in months. Better than when Kael died - different, yes, but I think better.

I'm beginning to realise now that WoW isn't really fun. I like raiding well enough, I suppose. Sure, nothing frustrates me like spending a night on Gorefiend as Those Guys get constructs, but I've enjoyed building my character up, experimenting with and mastering different styles of healing, and applying them to a boss fight. Looking forward to Essence of Anger this week; reckon I know how to do better on that fight.

Thing is, though, it doesn't really matter how well I heal there. As long as the DPS kill him before his aura ticks too high, we win. WTB a healing check.

Sitting here, I think that I could perform any role in any level of raiding. I don't know that; I've never been in SWP or Naxx-60. But I'm pretty sure I could pull my weight in either. So I've 'finished' PvE. WoW's PvP is a big 'meh' to me - I'd rather play TF2, or ToB, or maybe try WAR. Only thing left, really, is leadership.

I've been a GM before, briefly - old guild on Barthilas, the mantle got passed down as more and more GMs, officers, and raiders left until I ended up with it. I wore it about a month before I quit that guild.

I've been an officer before, a couple of times, only once when I was actually doing any officering. We cleared 5/6 3/4 before I burnt out, partially from healing, partially from leading, and switched to feral. That guild rebuilt from not raiding back to 5/6 3/4 a few times; I was one of the last people to leave after it collapsed for good.

I've never been a real GM, a raid leader, or a main tank. Dunno if I want to, though. From all I've heard it's basically the least fun ever.

So I'm thinking maybe I'll quit raiding. Maybe I won't reroll; maybe I'll just take my druid through to 80 and then do heroics every now and then. Maybe I'll quit WoW altogether.

Thing is, even though I can make 100% of our (now) 5-night raiding schedule at the moment, it's looking like that might stop being so in the future. And, hell, I dunno if I want to give up all my weeknights. I like sleep. I'm planning to get back into martial arts at the end of this year, 'roundabout October - and it'll be a real trouble to get from the dojo to home in time for the raid, twice a week. I have to get around to getting my Ls. I might actually have to study for exams this year. I want to move out of home sometime next year. Etc, etc, etc. But even in the face of all that, I think I could fit raiding in. I read somewhere once that the difference between a casual and a hardcore is that a casual rearranges the game to fit around their life; a hardcore rearranges their life to fit around the game.

But maybe I shouldn't keep raiding. Maybe I should spend my evenings hanging around with mates, eating takeaway and playing Smash Brothers.

At any rate, I need to farm up some gold to get the shadows for my +15 SR to cloak enchant - it'll push me to 369 buffed SR. Sharhaz soon.

Perhaps one of the remaining nine bosses in TBC will rekindle my passion for raiding. We'll see.